So I’m a huge fan of postsecret.blogspot.com – readers send in their secrets written on handmade postcards and this guy posts them on his blog and makes books out of them – it’s completely anonymous.
Every Sunday he updates his blog with new secrets – I was taking a look and found this one.
When I was in high school I was overweight – I’m very tall so you technically couldn’t consider me fat because I carried my weight better than a short person would. But I still was Susie Stick-Thin. I really liked this guy – we were great friends – I’ve never really been in love but I think I was close with this guy. He once told a friend of mine we would never date because I was fat. This and a few other things led me to lose weight. I’m tall so I’ll never be super skinny – but I’m much smaller than before and I think I’m gorgeous. But when all was said and done – this guy was still a jerk.
Before I lost weight we were good friends but never anything more. Once I lost weight he only wanted to hook up with me – we lost our great friendship – he still wouldn’t date me (even though I was a lot more attractive he didn’t want to be seen in public with me [he’ll never admit that though]).
So when I came across this secret on the website (it’s honestly not mine) I was excited that someone else had a similar experience. Then at the same time I feel so sad for her. I know what it felt like for me and it wasn’t pleasant. For so long I was heard and not seen. Now I’m seen and not heard. I really liked that guy – but my experience with him made me hate myself for so long – and I still have a hard time trusting people. I know I’m beautiful and his opinion doesn’t matter – but it was a long hard road getting to that opinion of myself.
But I’m here now – and I like who I am.
So to whoever’s secret this is – I hear you.